I should be working but instead I'm going to bombard you with what I'm up to in regards to life in general at the moment. I need to blog, then I need to do my essay. CRUMBS!

Yes, it's true I should be working. But right now I want to write something down here.

I've been attending a boarding school for the last 8 months, but now I've made the decision to come home and be what's called a 'day girl' again.

I think, I need to learn to become independant and appreciate my work and what I can achieve in school. At the end of the day, I want to go to university, I want to study English Literature and Creative Writing and I need a lot of determination to get to that stage.

But at the moment, for me finding motivation is proving difficult. I sit down to do my work sometimes though and I make lists of what I will get done. Sure, sometimes not all of it gets finished but I always try my best. Often, what I do is put stuff on the list that I have already done x) which is a bit sneaky I know but it helps you get into the mindset of achieving goals.

And that's what I wanted to talk about really, achieving goals :) (just gone back to this after I finished my post, I haven't really talked that much about achieving goals, I went off on a tangent a bit in the last three paragraphs.. I think haha)

Goals can be as little as making sure you go to bed at a reasonable hour (which I have got better at!) or something huge like writing a proper novel (I don't like young people who say 'Oh I've written 14 novels in the space of a year!' - this is not how to write, writing takes: time, skill and craft. You have to give up some of the things you love and you really have to concetrate. You have to be determined to do it little by little and you actually have to have a good solid idea which characters which you feel you can develop. OK - I'm going to stop otherwise I'm going to rant on about the skills of writing, and nobody wants that >.< - I guess what I am trying to say is - Hey, everyone is different)

I'm doing A-Levels, and currently I'm aiming for A, B, B. The subject that I feel I'm struggling with the most at the moment is History. But why is it that I find it so hard? I can't blame it on anyone except myself. I find the workload difficult, and my liking for the topics we are doing is very small (We're doing 'The Changing Role of Women in Britain 1860-1930' which is basically the suffragettes, 'Civil Rights in the USA' and 'The Vietnam and Korean War') the only one I think I enjoyed was Civil Rights in the USA but even that one I found hard. My folder won't even CLOSE properly anymore, that is how much work I have.

I'm also doing English coursework which is literally the bane of my life. I enjoy parts of it, it's just at the moment I am struggling with ONE PAGE of commentary on a peice of creative writing I've done. I did put it up here, but I took it down for many reasons. One, although I know not many people see this site, I don't want people plagiarising. And two, I decided I wasn't keen on posting school work on here, its not really MY proper work. The task was to interpret Sebastian Faulks' writing from the novel Birdsong. I'm also doing some coursework on a play called Journey's End by R.C. Sherriff which I'm finding significantly easier. It wasn't the creative writing that I found hard in the other task, it's just the commentary. Doing commentary on you're own work is really strange, I can't think of anything similar to it.. I guess it's like going to see a movie in the cinema that you're in and watching yourself perform? Which I guess would be a little weird.

So what else is going on in my life? Well, not much to be honest with you. I've recently had a break-up but it's not something that has been particularly bothering me or on my mind which I guess is good :). We're still talking as friends, which is what I've always wanted, so I guess that's why I don't feel any remorse or sadness over it. Its also nearly the Easter holidays, which means REVISION. SOLID REVISION. I have 4 exams coming up this May and two of them are History *facepalm* so I'll be busy with that. But I plan to meet up with an old friend and make rainbow cake, which consequently I HAVE NEVER EATEN. Which is crazy, really crazy. As well as this, I plan to try and get a job. Well I say try, I NEED to get a job, I swear I have lost the concept of money. I have £7.59 on my debit card, apart from that I am pretty much penniless *crumbs*. So, that's something that I plan to do. Moreover, my Dad has planned to go on holiday to Wales and has asked me to come with him and my brother :) which should be lovely. Hopefully I'll get enough time to relax and to revise. Perhaps I'll see if I can get some poetry done there, I've heard that its a nice are so maybe it'll inspire me to get writing :) we'll see

That's all for now folks,

~misshapenskies